YOWZ.
Just wanted to show you my new haircut.
Fringe's a little too short but it'll grow.
Also had hair treatment so my hair is smelling and feeling so good now :3
(Yeah that's not a word, I know~)
So I got totally freaked out. Ha!.
Okay that wasn't really my main purpose of blogging tonight.
I was just sitting down being mentally (not physically) lonely as usual (yes that happens) and I looked around and had this..thought.
Not just at that particular time..
Anyway, I'm pretty darn sure most of you have, at some point, thought of the same too.
Its about..
I guess it's perfectly normal for people to have cliques, especially in school.
Especially girls, and I am a girl (you dont say!.) so I guess I do have a clique too..?
And I realize that when cliques are in cliques it's kind of difficult for them to mix in with others or let others mix in with them.
Let me tell you a little something about me first.
In case you dont know what that is, it's called Carl Jung Personality Test.
It's a test where you have to answer like about 70(?) yes/no questions and then the results will tell you about how you think or act and stuff.
Just search it up if you wanna take it :)
So basically I am an INFJ.
I = Introvert.
Introvert is someone who is energized by being alone, and whose energy is drained by being around alot of people.
They also dont enjoy conversations which they consider are trivial matters of social small talk, but like to be in conversations on concepts and stuff.
So that is probably why since I was little, I clearly wasn't and still isn't the most socialable person in the world.
I like to keep a good good friend close, and I will less likely to be very engaged in things that would involve more than two other people.
That is also probably why everytime my best friend goes along with some other people I will get rather envious and cranky, since primary school.
No lie ahah.
It really does amaze me, though, how some people can just get along with anyone.
But I just wanna represent the many of you who feel just so frikkin hurt everytime people count you out.
I'm not talking about people in cliques leaving people in cliques out if you get what I mean.
I'm just saying how some people have to judge others before talking or even just sitting beside them.
It's just standing/sitting beside them, for presence's sake, it's not like they are going to want to join your clique or whatever.
I'm sure they have their own circle of friends as well, just like you.
And me.
Sure, I do have a circle of close friends.
But I count everyone as my friends too.
I'll talk to anyone as long as they're willing to talk to me (nicely, duh).
I'll do work with anyone as long as they're willing to work with me.
I'll sit with anyone as long as they're willing to sit with me.
I'll take pictures with anyone as long as they're willing to take it with me.
I'll eat with anyone as long as they're willing to eat with me.
That, coming from a fairly extreme introvert like me.
But that's just the way life is, man, you dont ALWAYS get to choose.
Dalam menyelam, cetek bertimba.
You'd hate to be alone but yet you feed it to others.
Why, because you think you cool and you think they're not?.
Yeah, I know how it feels when someone's trying to get in your way with someone because every single time that happens to me (or at least when I think it's happening) I feel real deep worry that the person that I'm close to will fade away.
But why cant people just be nice to other people?.
Why do people give other people solutions so that they have the advantage when they can use that solution yet still have an advantage?.
And when they dont get what they want, they'll rage?.
Why do people rush into things so much?.
Why do you need it so bad, when actually you want it more?.
Why do we talk about people so, so easily but dont realize we're actually talking about ourselves?.
It just hurts.
I'm at my optimum level in pairs, but sometimes two isnt enough.
It hurts when you're told to get into pairs and that person isnt there for you and you just look around lost.
With people looking at you, they're not laughing at you, but rather they sympathise with you yet they themselves cannot really do an circle of friends.
This is starting to sound off real selfish.
But I cannot say I'm not like that can I?.
I'm the last person you'd imagine to be the one taking initiative.
I do admit I will not ask you to join me and my friends but not because I dont want to but because I'm afraid they wont be comfortable so.
I do admit I'm one who waits for an opportunity, a chance to come instead of looking or asking for it.
I do admit I will not budge until someone suggests so.
But I take in everyone as who they are, I hardly judge anyone, I really dont care what you are as long as you're nice to me I'll be nice to you.
I dont know, everyone's my friends alright?.
But like everyone else I do have BFFs too.
But I know I dont have to call ourselves a clique because that would be just so frikkin cliche.
I just cant stand hearing "I dont want to........because she walks funny" or "because she blinks funny" or whatever.
And I cant stand people who think only of themselves.
I dont know why this happens, Linions..
It tires me and it hurts me.
Just glad I have awesome people with me when I really need them.
I'm sure you do too.
Appreciate them but appreciate everyone else too. :)
Because nowadays you can never say something unless you admit it yourself too.
"Let's not be narrow, nasty and negative." - T.S. Eliot
By the way, cant wait for Vidcon 2012's videos to be out!.
Youtubers are probably my one and only clique who are just lacking of realizing my existence.
Naw, kidding.
But seriously though.
PUMPED!.
Du vet jeg elsker deg.
Goodbye
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