Remote. And control.

HULLO LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG!!!!

Yay okay so i was just thinking about how much it cheers me up looking at my stats hehe.

I dont know, the fact that there actually are people who bothers reading my blog (if not just dropping by and leaving) just makes me feel good sharing all these stuff :)

Also, ive had some friends commenting and complimenting and that is just so nice hehe you know who you are! :')

However, its just weird to me cuz i know ive got readers (even from overseas ahhhhh weeeeee!!!) but i dont actually get responses so i feel like im talking to myself.

Its like, im talking to myself and you guys are watching me.

Ha, imagine that.

:B

Yeah, that was all i was thinking about..

Other than baking or dancing.

Just one little downside in me right now, i have too much time that im starting to feel sorry for myself and that is just mad not awesome.

I need to walk by November.

Lol Mum just said;

"Kaklina idea tengah mencurah eh?"

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye

Education, my not so social life, and a nerdy llama.

Hullo hullo hullo!!! :)

GUESS WHAT IM GOING TO BE BLOGGING ABOUT TODAY!!!

YES SCHOOOOOOL!.

Well, let me tell you why i came around to wanting to blog about it (although i dont think you really want to know) after this picture of me licking a traffic light pole.

Alright, so i went exercising today (HEHE kind of) at those exercising corners around my neighbourhood today.

When we (Mum, brother and i) reached the exercise corner near my primary school, we sort of bumped into a few kids from there.

And i couldnt help but rememer those times..

AMKPS.

Yes, i am from AMKP. :)

How could you forget your primary school days?

Primary school was pretty much a bit more of a hell for me.

I was NOT an active student.

I was quiet and pretty shy and super decent (seriously, and still am :P) and i was totally and definitely NOT into sports of ANY KIND.

I was not even into performing arts.

Well, not really, i have actually ALWAYS wanted to perform but i was just super shy and not spontaneous at all, so i didnt have the guts to take that up.

I also was a little afraid to open up to new circles of friends, and the people in the peforming arts circle definitely was out of my league.

They were more outspoken and daring and loud and stuff (i mean this in a good way), and i was just none of that.

Yes.

I was a nerd.

Hey, im pretty proud of that okay haha.

I was the kid who saw importance in education (still do) and i sometimes get to be the teacher's pet.

But, hey, its the primary school.

You hand in work on time, you respond well in class, you show that youre putting effort in pulling up your grades, you handle your manners with teachers and friends and, BAM, the teachers will love you :)

I always wanted to score high high high and i must admit that i did myself proud hehe.

So anyway, i was also the kid who always played by the rules.

I would stay for remedials, and if i get scolded i would start to cry and stuff..

Meh.

ALSO, after school i would go straight home. :)

Theres a playground right behind the school where i will always ALWAYS pass by and a 711 store right across the road, and when my bestfriend asked me to come along, i would be scared to death and hesitate because Mum and Dad didnt allow me to cross roads haha.

I also avoided coming home late unless there was extra classes.

So i guess youve guessed it already.

I was not considered a cool kid.

Although i did have bffs from the cool kids ^^ :3

Hehe.

One thing i really REALLY regretted was not entering a more performing-ish club/CCA.

(I was in Brownies)

I should have been more active and participative-ish(?), it wouldve done me quite alot of good.'

It sort of made my primary school life hell haha.

But one thing i didnt regret was being a nerd i guess..

I achieved the results that ive wanted (i got 1st in class for my PSLE hehe hey proud moment of my 12 year old life okay. Okay fine im not bragging, my results werent that great anyway but i was and am still happy with it.) and got into a fairly good school so yeah.

 Some might say primary school was the best school phase of their lives, but i just dont think i can say that.

But it was fun and chill so i can say i liked primary school :)

OH YES ON MY FIRST FEW DAYS BEING A PRIMARY ONE KID I WAS BULLIED BY THE PRIMARY SIX KIDS THEY MADE ME PICK UP THEIR USED TISSUES AND WHEN I WALKED AWAY THEY CALLED ME TO ASK FOR IT BACK SHEESH LOL.

I guess i have not much else to say about primary school because we were kids, what did we know eh, but AMKPS treated me pretty well.

I can also never forget my graduation night, it was lovely.

And, if youre wondering, i do still keep in contact with friends from there.

And, surprisingly, we are in better friendships now than before.

I guess we have grown eh ;)

MFSS.

Secondary school started out as a bit of a hell to me, once again.

I was, again, a bit of a loner.

I was put in a class where i was the only Malay girl and i found it abit hard to begin connections or bonds with others, which isnt new to me.

There were programmes that was to help us create bonds and talk and stuff, but i was STILL the unspontaneous shy girl so i did have trouble doing so..

So everyday after school i would just go home.

But then, of course, i started making very lovely friends.

BUT i didnt realize how important friends were until when i reached Secondary 3.

As in, i realized they were more than just people you need to go "lepak" or chill with.

I think i can safely and rightfully say that i made the right friends.

They encourage me to study, and have never tried to get me into doing things i didnt want to.

Oh, and my studies dropped.

No, they didnt drop.

It was just that there were much smarter people in the school and i was one of the weaker ones.

Therefore, from being the tops in primary school, i was constantly being pushed to work harder and harder and harder and..

In secondary school is where i see even more importance in education.

I can get so annoyed at kids who try to influence other kids to skip school and stuff, but i guess thats their choice eh.

I also got more active! ^^

But not in sports, nope.

(Never.)

I got into a performing arts CCA(!!!!!!!!!)

Hehe i took up dance (WHICH I JUST FELL IN LOVE WITH) and i realized how much it opened me up and how much i love performing in front of people how much i love practicing and rehearsals how much i love learning new steps how much i have to teach my juniors and encourage the whole dance group HOW MUCH I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!!!

I love it and i definitely did NOT regret that.

:)

Hehe.

OK so yeah, life in secondary school is a little bit looser, though.

I could go have lunch at McDonalds or go have a study session at the library or go drop by the mall after school without worrying about breaking the rule of crossing roads ahaha.

So life has been pretty fine for me in secondary school.

Except the studies part.

That is killing me slowly.

Oh yeah, and no, im still not a "cool kid" haha.

Im more like the "weird kid" yup.

Not sure if you can tell.

So yeah.

Still more phases of education and stuff to go but im still on the way.

Excuse me for such a wordy post.

I am pretty beat from all the exercise today :P

Oh and i had Honeydew and Watermelon Sago dessert today yum yum.

Oh yes, and could you lovely people PLEASE suggest things i could do/take up to fill my time up?

I am dying to do something worthwhile..

Yup, hanksus!. :3

Shall leave you with this quote by Glee's Chris Colfer.

(I know im a nerd but, no, im not a Gleek.)

"The best way i can describe myself in high school was that i was kind of like a social llama. Like, where does a social llama go? A llama's not a cow. Its not a horse. It might hang out with the duck once in a while, but it really has no place to belong."

Yup, that is so me.

Not just in high school though, in any school..

Brother and i just before leaving for school on the first day this year.

I WAS SO SKINNY.

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye

Nuggahz

Yes, i will give you a nugget of my life soon.

Heres a cute song haha

I miss dancing really very terribly sigh :'(

My cheeks.

Hallo! :3

My cheeks gained weight, not me, yes.

Alright, im assuming that im finally ready to retype everything after dumbly erasing my whole post after typing it out.

I know right :(

Two scenarios that occured to me that left a huge impact on me.

Two scenarios that i wouldnt put as "memorable" but, lets just say i will and can never forget, that occured during my hospitalisation.

Yes, hospitalisation again.

THE HUGS.

Never underestimate the power of hugs.

Or..your brother(s). Hehe.

It was the first few days i was put in the ICU and my lovely brother came over with my Grandmumma.

I remember them standing on he right side of my bed.

And then after a while for some reason i said..

"Aw Iman, i wish i could hug you right now, but i cant."

Let me just tell you that at that point of time was when my all four limbs were weak to their extremes, i couldnt move a thing.

I shall not elaborate, but you get what i mean.

And then Grandmumma took a seat on my right and my brother walked over to my left to take a seat as well.

He also took my huge blue bear.

This one.

Haha then the nurse was looking for the tissue box and i was wondering why.

I turned to my brother and was like okay, turned away, and then turned back in surprise and shock.

He was like trying to get behind he huge carebear trying to hide his tears.

My reaction?

I screamed and snapped "OI WHY ARE YOU CRYING?! STOP CRYING LAH!?"

Hahahaha lol i know i know...

I just couldnt stand seeing people cry for me (?).

It was like, as long as im not crying, nobody should be crying for me.

Like, the only person who should be crying for me is me.

I can cry for myself.

Nobody should be crying for me.

It just didnt seem right to me.

Hm :/

So yeah, my Grandmumma was shocked as well lol her reaction was much cuter.

("Iman! Eh, kenapa nangis?!")

LOLOLOL.

Just before he left for home that night, i found out the reason why anyway.

I remember Mumma saying "He cried because you said you wanted to hug him but you cant."

Awwwwwwwww eh.

He did hug me by the way.

I couldnt return it at that time but a few weeks later i got better and gave him a hug.

Yup.

I didnt expect my brother's reaction, really.

Now every time this scenario thingy pops up in a conversation my Grandmumma will emphasize on the fact that i "scolded"/snapped at my brother for crying.

("Dia marah nampak adik dia nangis~")

Hahaha lovely.

THE WORDS.

This one was told to me after quite a while.

It all happened post-sedation so i was really REALLY VERY dopey and bzz-ed.

It was the second day i was in the ICU and it was after a procedure.

I was sober but not really at all haha.

I talked but i dont know what i said, i hear things but i dont know what i heard, i see things but i dont know what i saw.

It was all pretty interesting waking up after being sedated.

But naaaaaaaaaaaasty.

I remember pretty clearly opening my eyes and seeing my cousin Aidie (hes in one of my other posts by the way ha) with Mumma standing on the left side of my bed.

I remember smiling at him and saying "Hiiiiiii Aidie~" ad he said Hello as well.

And then my next choice of words just had to be..

"Get me out of here."

I remember chuckling after that and then..guess what?!

My eyes slowly shut again and i fell back asleep.

Heeee. Heeeeeee.

When i woke up for real, he was already out duh. Haha.

Then weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks later my parents told me he exited almost immediately after i fell back asleep.

Because..he couldnt bear seeing me like that and because of what i said.

Because nobody could really do that for me..

I dont want to elaborate.

Sorry.

But my point is just that sometimes you dont realize how strong the things you say or do are.

Sometimes the people you least expect you react a certain way does so, and vice versa.

I dont know, actions speak a thousand words and words speaks for itself.

One more little thing.

I just really do not think its right to ever think about death or questioning when your life would be taken away.

At any point of time.

I mean, what makes you think life after life would be easier?

I mean, think about it..

What makes you think you can survive life after life if you cant even survive life?

Hm this is in general, though.

Just saying.

When i was at the hospital all i ever thought of was "I wanna get out of here" and not "Hurry up and let me just die here".

Every single bloomin day my head just went "Get me out of here" "I wanna get out of here" constantly.

I was just praying for things to be over.

I remember having Physio three times a day and it was pure hell for me but i just told myself "it will be over".

I ALSO REMEMBER that there are always other people going through even harder times than i am.

I know i am definitely not the worst case and i had to be thankful for that.

Everyone has their own bad stuff to go through.

Stick with people who lifts you higher, that helped me tremendously.

You dont know if you dont believe.

SHIT HAPPENS, YOU JUST HAVE TO PUSH THROUGH.

Ugh i apologize so much if im talking about my hospitalisation so much, i promise the next time i speak of it will be in my HospitaLINsation post.

Im sorry :(

I just wanted to try to show how much actions and words can do.

Not sure if i did but i hope it helped you.

(HEHE RHYMES)

These people helped me push through, and pushed me through, and lifted me high so high.

Of course there are more of you, you know who you are. ;)

By the way, im going to Norway....

Someday.

I will.

Hehe.

Du vet jeg elsker deg.

Goodbye

Washy wash

Hullo you lovely people :)

Today, i have decided to share two things with you.

1. How i wash and take care of my hair

2. My Mum's awesome homemade sardine pizza photo recipe (which i believe she made up herself)

1.

This idea came suddenly as i was showering.

I thought i had an odd (and im assuming its a very bad) way of washing my hair.

Usually, ill just do with what works for my hair.

Therefore, please tell me how i can untorture my hair.

Please do.

The shampoo that ive been using for quite a while is..

 

YUP YUP YUP, i have (had) dry itchy scalp.

I would be scratching and stuff all the time.

And this works for me, so well.

After like two or three washes, i met with the difference.

Pretty awesome.

Plus, its green lol.

It really did control my itch ha ha.

Ok so how i wash my hair is that i just concentrate on getting it all into my scalp and try not to get it on my ends much.

Because its not good, right? Thats what they tell me, "dont shampoo your ends!!!"

So yup, ill stop shampooing at the last one or half inch of the ends of my hair because im paranoid.

Bwahaha :3

THEN i condition my hair with this yummy lovely thing.

The Body Shop's Banana Hair Conditioner.

The first time i used this it sort of made my hair fall :'(

But then i just loved the fact that its Banana and it worked so well in helping my hair to air dry and still be soft so i couldnt bear to leave it so how i use it is that i do not let it touch my scalp.

Im just following the logic where your hair falls from the roots which is at the scalp so i do not let the conditioner touch my scalp where my roots are and fall off from.

And anyway ive let my scalp absorb the shampoo's goodness so i let the rest of the hair absorb the goodness of the conditioner since the conditioner makes it all soft and smell yummy like Banana.

Do i make sense right here? Heh heh.

OKAY sometimes (most of the time) my hair is in a good mood on the 2nd day after washing.

So when i do want to go out, here are my two saviours~

Ellips Hair Vitamin Capsules.

I use these pink ones, they are for hair treatment and my hair, they need it.

The smell is pretty strong but i like the smell so i dont mind.

I put this on every about 3 days when i was in the hospital, or whenever i washed my hair (or not) which was definitely not every two days.

It worked well for me because it didnt dry out my hair and made it smell better and looked healthier and treated my hair well.

So yeahperdy!

Herbal Essences Smooth Lover None Of Your Frizzness Serum.

Got to love love LOVE this!!

I use this mostly when i want to go out, not sure why.

The smell is L O V E L Y, it makes me want to lick it.

It smells fruity and so fresh i love it.
It also has this anti humidity thingy which is awesome because in this humid country youd need it.

I would like to point out that the last two hair care products have been recommended by my bestfriend Atiqa she has a youtube account *ahem* *ytb.com/labelamafia126* she rocks so... ^^

YUP thats how my hair waves~

(You know, like "thats how i roll" ha ha)

2.
A sardine pizza picture recipe. :)
Im not sure what the measurements are, theyre mostly estimations hehehe.
Im going to leave you with photos.
And youre gonna see if you can figure it out :P

DELISH.

Mkay before i say my toodles id just like to share my 9th September with you

Like the cab world read my blog, the cab uncle was super nice and friendly and helpful today!

After driving Mum and i over to the hospital, Mum wanted to give him some tips but he just wouldnt accept it!

He even sounded shocked and panicked lololol.

And upon reaching Rehab, Mum and i realized there were some complications and there was a clash of slots..

And the aunty was making noises and wanted to write a complain.

So Mum and i decided to let them have our slot first while we have "breakfast".

(Which was Twix and Lemon Barley Soda :P)

When we came back we bumped into my Music Specialist, then my Play Specialist, then my OTs, then all the other Physios ^^ :3

Must be good karma for being patient eh.

And then after everything we dropped by the mall and i got myself a pair of hoop earrings for the weekend.

Also awaiting some stuff from the mail.

Happy happy happy days :)

Just felt like sharing. :3

Raya in a wheelchair tomorrow.

You know i love you.

Goodbye

Things i probably dont really deserve (but still have the right) to say

HULL-o how yall doin!

 So sorry, been meaning to blog for quite some time but i just have no momentum no more :(

What keeps happening is that i will start blogging and then i dont like what i type and so the post sort of just hangs there..

Anyway, so in this post i am going to say or comment on things i have observed and experienced.

Hey, no hate ya.

Just some 100% of things in Lin's head which she shouldnt even think about i suppose.

Firstly, i havent been going out at all ever since i was discharged, so my parents brought me shopping last Saturday.

And i cant help but realize..there are so many boys maybe around my age-ish, teen-ish, who keeps wearing these knee-length jeans thingy.

 LOL i added them by accident, these are cargo-ish pants but you get my point!!

I dont know, maybe its just my own preference (i like them boys in long pants yessir ;) :B) but..really?

And you gotta pair it with some odd polo tee or odd printed tee?

Or those Jack Daniel's 3quart sleeves.

This is why i like older guys.
And, i know this is a repetition, i love a guy in long pants/jeans/whatever.
And i wish/hope theres still guys out there who would say the same for girls.

Now lets move on to the chickies. :)

Im not sure why, i know its hot, but i get a little annoyed when i see some girls wearing crop tops without anything under..

You know, like what this goodlookin blonde chick is wearing..

Dont get me wrong though, i love these crop tops they are so CUTE!

But i sort of cant stand it when they wear it to, say, grocery shopping when they follow their Mums or sisters to go buy milk or vegetables.

I think, unless youre off going to the club (to get drunk or grinded or whatever for) then i think its rather inapropriate to be wearing those kinda stuff.

Especially if you have pretty pop boobs or when you lift your arms then your top just lifts and shows that slim flat (or not) tummy of yours..its just inapropriate to me at those neighbourhood malls and stuff.

If youre in town or whatever, that is still fine to me.

I guess.

I mean, if your folks dont mind then yeah.

But you have got to remember there are other folks and eyes too.

Third,

branded goods.

Okay, im going to start off by clearly admitting to being a teenager who is still growing up (forever will be) and some of you are probably already thinking "Whoa. This girl needs to put on concealer on those bags under her eyes!?" upon looking at the first picture i uploaded in my first post.

Id admit i dont even know how to put on a concealer.

The first time i put on foundation (for a performance) i failed miserably, i ended up with a white face and brown neck.

But thats not my point.

Hehe.

So you can probably tell im obviously not much of a make up girl, although i do love it and is interested in it since small.

I dont bother putting on layers of those stuff on my face, usually only powder and eyeliner or something.

AND WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY HERE IS THAT i dont think young girls like me (ahem hehe) should be investing so much (of theirs/THEIR PARENTS) money on so much branded make up.

Youre only still growing up, you should just let puberty pass over you and take care of your skin first!!

Im not saying youre not taking care of your skin now btw. Just saying.

HOWEVER, i do also suppose that since its our beautiful faces, we kind of need products that are actually of good quality and stuff.

But, i think make up makes you look older.

I mean, look at my sister.

People ask if we're twins, and i believe its cuz of her naturality.

(Sigh)

Eh. Embrace those shiny cheeks, Lin.

Moving on, clothes.

I really really REALLY dig cheap pretty clothes.

Okay, who doesnt?!

Yes, like every other girl, i do splurge on things i can probably get at a cheaper price but,

i dont go captioning my photos naming what labels im wearing.

Its unnecessary...

Unless someone likes what youre wearing and asks you..

I really do think its unnecessary.

Then theres also those who try to follow their idols and what they brands they wear and stuff.

Or, you know how Tumblr is so inspiring right now.

And all the boys and the girls are lovin its style, thus suddenly turning their swag on~

I mean, chill girlllllllllllll~

Honestly though, thru my own experience, i have friends who were completely different and now..POOOF!.

Its kinda sad, but you are who you are, and i gotta love you for that.

Over all.

I just think, theres no need to show off your things or feel that theres a need to compete or follow/not lose out if your friends have these things.

I just think these things can wait at least till you start earning your own kaching girl.

If you have confidence (which i am lacking yes) then i dont think youd need all those stuff.

Yet.

Maybe when youre older and have started working and really have to present yourself, then maybe so.

Then again, you wont be judged by how much prized possesions you have when youre dead anyway.

Mkay, almost there.

Since its the Hari Raya season, i guess i might as well mention so.

I get annoyed when i see those kebaya outfits which are soooo sheer or see thru or lacy..

You just have no idea how our Malay girls wear them now.

What have been a beautiful traditional modest outfit has turned so..modern and..i dont know.

You tell me.

And then theres also those baju kurungs where the kain (skirt?) stops inches above the ankles.

Its..singkat! (brief?)

I mean,

BAJU KURUNGS AND KEBAYAS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MODEST YET SEXY!.

To me, at least.

Its so sad.

AND, to make it worse, our own Malay girls have been spotted wearing the see thru kebaya with just a bra.

And another was spotted wearing it with see thru tights and a tube dress top thingy i dont know!

Gurlll if you wanna wear it as lingerie then wear it home..

But, hey, im just saying all these because i feel so ashamed.

I keep saying "our own Malay" because i still have my Malay pride with me and I REPRESENT MALAY!.

But not all of us are the same.

But we're all looked at the same way already.

Its just so sad.

I want to live in the older times.

I want our traditional clothings to remain traditional and not racy and stuff.

Its so sad.

LASTLY.

As some of you would have already guessed, i move around on a wheelchair now.

This certainly made me realize how troublesome it is moving around.

What made it worse is the people you see throughout your journey.

Lets see.

1. GETTING THERE.

My Mum and Dad thinks convenient for not only me or themselves, but for others as well.

And since most, if not all, the buses from my house to anywhere else are not those handicapped/wheelchair/special - friendly buses,

we take cabs.

The first ever time we took a cab, the driver was friendly and helpful.

I dont think i even need to say the number of times the cabs changed their sign thingy from TAXI to BUSY almost every time..

And some drivers dont even bother helping my Mum with the wheelchair.

And they will give the bzz face throughout.

Taking the bus would be more troublesome for the driver and allt the other passengers especially if it gets crowded.

Thus, cab or walk/push.

All im saying is, to those choosy cab drivers..

I know your "main" job is to just drive people to places but to take up one whole job you have to take all the responsibilities and all the other work or "challenges" that comes with it, no..?

Imagine if YOU are the one waiting/hailing/taking a cab on a wheelchair and the driver gives a fae throughout the ride and dont even bother helping you out with the wheelchair and stuff.

Who would be happy.

But there are those really nice uncles who do come out to help and stuff.

So heres a high five for you uncles :B

*high five!*

2. WALKING AROUND.

And getting stared at.

Its not only the fact that people actually are so very oblivious to their surroundings and dont bother to move away but

they stare at you.

I mean, i know im a teenager on a wheelchair with a puffed face and i look almost normal (except with Tagederms and gauze on my chest), but is that why you people stare at me?

Is it another of our Singaporean traits.

Im just real disappointed, its mad intimidating.

Sometimes i stare at them till they realize and look away,

but most of the time i just give them my best smile because i know im not like them.

And because i look better smiling haha.

You have no idea how crazy it feels.

There are even people who get all annoyed and go "tsk" when im trying to make my way somewhere.

Its like these people think that the walkway/pathway are only for people who can walk.

Its stupid and intimidating.

Dont know how many times ive said it but its too true.

Singaporeans seems so selfish and inconsiderate.

Its sad.

I have no words to express what its like or what it feels like on what kind of treatment you get by our own people.

Just because youre on a wheelchair.

ALSO, ive noticed that Chinese guys are kinder and nicer and they sometimes give me the way while Malay guys would stare at me like im diseased.

God, why.

BUT, of course there is always good and bad, there are also those nice ones who smile and let me have some space to move but are so very rare.

Honest, okay, if i could i would get up and walk.

Im just saying these on behalf of people who have felt so as well.

Now i know how it feels to be on a wheelchair.

But i dont care if they dont give me some space to move or whatever.

Its just the way they look at me like they are assuming im on a wheelchair for the fun of it and not because i really need it.

You guys......are so mean. 

SO YA.

Thats about it.

Keep in mind that these are all my honest opinions though.

I am truly sorry if any of you are offended and things..

But, really, i stand up to my thoughts i guess.

Oh, heres a few more photos of me ever since.

Yes, the cheeks have risen like never before and i have gained weight.

How many times must i remind myself.

So drastic.

Yuck.

Battery's melting.

You know i love you.

Goodbye

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!.

Hullo errrrbody.

This is Hari Raya Eve.

Woke up pretty late on Hari Raya morning, to a darn good breakfast and a shower and then did some editings and picturetakings while waiting for the cousins to arrive.

The Mazlans came first and then The Joes.

It was lovely.

My extended family.

Happy Day.

I will do a picture post (hopefully with captions hehe) to fill you lot soon.

I love my family, the best.

You know i love you.

Goodbye